i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
