is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
