I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
