def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
