Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
