Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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