I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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