somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
