We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
