Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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