i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
