pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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