Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
