I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
