Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
