i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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