Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
