DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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