I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
zippers are such a cool invention
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
