I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
