It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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