Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He felt like a one man threesome
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
