I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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