Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
