the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
