Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
