it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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