Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
