Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
