Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we made out on top of his cat.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
