I woke up to her vacumming the grass
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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