Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
