I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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