I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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