Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
