hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
