Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
