...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
you made out with another girl for some wings
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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