Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
