Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
