margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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