I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
