The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
