that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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