My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
