Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
