I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
