remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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