i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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