Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
