non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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